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A realistic approach towards the cure.
For bullies to exist, they must have victims. Remove the victims and bullies will cease to exist. Those victims will be your children UNLESS you grow them up in a manner that prevents them from being victim material.
Do you understand?
Make your child strong physically and mentally and above all emotionally!! Put effort in learning how to do that; it won't happen on its own.
A push towards the right direction:
~Mixed martial arts (mma), Kiokusin kai karate, Muai Thai, Brazilian or Gracie Jujitsu, Boxing, Wrestling, AS YOUNG AS POSSIBLE!
~Sports (To learn respecting team mates and other teams or opponents, to feel they have goals to achieve and gain proper respect, as well as to let off "steam" and energy.)
~Emotional balance between love and discipline. Teach them to love and respect you as parents and all others. Teach and punish them when they don't. (Unless you want them expelled all the time, and later on going from job to job being fired all the time for being grown brats. Much more side effects come from this imbalance.)
~Love your children enough so that they trust your opinion about their new friend/s.
Indirectly, YOU chose their friends for them, because YOU ALREADY KNOW friends can influence you positively or negatively; In time, they will make proper, healthy, beneficial friendships on their own.
~Teach them how it is to be slapped in the face (slightly) or punched (not in the face/head) just enough for them to understand pain, that is, why it's "not nice", but yet sometimes useful. It can be taught in the form of fun or playing. -Control of their pain threshold can be salvific in keeping them calm and collected if manhandled by another child or adult. Some kids become emotionally shocked and wrecked even by a mere push or punch in the arm..
- I know this will be a controversial one; it needs knowledge and delicate wisdom. Martial arts helps with that.
~Teach them how to call for help, where to call for help, who to call for help, and when to call for help (the possibility and proximity of types of danger).
~Don't make their seeming hardships a big deal. Say things like:
*Not a problem unless you want it to be. You decide.
*So what? Why should that be a big deal to you?
*Lucky you! That's how you're going to learn. Don't think you're special. Everybody goes through things like that! Come and listen to my stories...
*Yeah but now, you know what needs fixing, right? Life is a school. How are you going to fix the issue? Think about it. Nagging or crying can't help you.
*It happened, it now belongs in the past. Forget it, go have fun!
*A blessing in disguise! Let's think about what you actually benefit from it...
*Well, you didn't take the measures we talked about. No problem, next time you'll remember them. Right?
*Stop whining because someone is successful at it and you're not! Some people are better then us in some things cause their talented or put more effort to them. Be happy for them, not jealous! Meanwhile, put effort in finding out what really suits you and then be better than others at it. Life is ahead of you. Be happy, move on!
Having said the above, on the other hand, take equal note of the following.
Make sure you are not creating a young bully through:
*your bad advice,
*through your neglect/indifference, through your bad example,
*through your lack of (Christian) moral teaching and discipline.
-You are a parent, do what a parent MUST do.
YOU HAVE NO SHAMEFUL RIGHT TO DEPEND ON TEACHERS TO DO IT FOR YOU!
*Always ask teachers how your child interacts with them and other children inside the class and during recess. Ask this often.
*Ask the parents of your child's friends, how they honestly see his/her behavior when they see them play together and interact.
*Ask YOUR CHILD how it treats friends and teachers, and expand on the topic FROM TIME TO TIME. DO NOT forget this!
*Explain to them what a bully is from a young age, what their characteristics are, and why some kids become such, and how to wisely deal with them. Then ask them firmly: Will you ever be like that to anyone?
-When they say: No,
Why? Tell me clearly, I want to hear it from your mouth.
-Some kids are bullies, without being aware of it; it's all fun and self-confirmation for them.
Well, I believe all the above just about cover the issue.
Hope all this saves some children and parents...
Bullying can be a thing of the past, if we make it to be.
PS. A good idea: Discuss about the information given here with your husband or wife. Discuss it with their teachers and principal. Send a copy of it to them. Even better, send a copy to all the parents in your school and other schools... Before it's too late.
…Oh and don't overlook sending a copy to martial art teachers/schools, giving them too a heads up on the issue; many thugs can grow in their schools....
Side note: Careful the gym/school/dojo you chose for your kid!